When you begin your lifestyle behavior change journey to lose weight, everyone has an opinion about the nutritional program you should try, such as The Keto, Paleo, or Mediterranean Diet. You hear mounds of advice about what to eat and how and when to exercise. While an effective nutritional program is undoubtedly a must to lose weight, it is critical to take on and win the battle of having a positive mindset before diving into a new nutritional and exercise plan.

Of course, what you eat and your physical activity will ultimately determine your physical transformation, but how you treat yourself mentally influences your lifestyle decisions, which will determine your success on your weight loss journey. To change your lifestyle and overcome obesity, you must focus on strengthening your mindset to put your thoughts about yourself, attitude, and love for and belief in yourself in a positive and healthy place.

                                      Why?

Because if you experience self-doubt and extreme frustration when you look in the mirror and start down a path of destructive negative self-talk and body-shaming, then your weight loss goal will be impossible; the wave of negative emotions and thoughts will kill your self-esteem, desire, and effort long before you start to eat healthy and exercise. When you are discouraged or feel defeated because of how many times you have tried to lose weight and have convinced yourself there is no hope to try again, these negative thoughts and emotions are Emotional Pounds, and they will impact how you treat your body.

Emotional pounds are the mental weight you carry because of strong negative feelings such as guilt, stress, frustration, anger, or hopelessness that can dominate your thoughts and negatively influence your decisions and behavior toward yourself.

Emotional pounds can be caused by many things, such as painful past experiences, current challenges you are facing, or negative people in your life. This mental weight can be destructive because it negatively affects how you think of yourself and kills your energy, passion, and desire to overcome obesity. It is important to deal with your emotional pounds because they can lead you to make bad decisions, even when you know they are bad. For instance, uncontrolled emotional pounds can cause you to smoke despite knowing it is unhealthy. They can cause you to overeat food that you know makes you fat and unhealthy. They can cause you to stay in an abusive relationship when you know you should leave. It will be challenging to move forward without developing strategies to address the emotions that lead to unhealthy decisions.

During my battles with obesity, I was disgusted with my body, but I was even more disgusted that I had let myself get that way. I had strong feelings of failure, guilt, and frustration, and I wanted to cry every time I looked in the mirror. The angrier and more depressed I felt, the more I turned to food for comfort. I was struggling with emotional pounds and realized that if I did not start to lose them, I was never going to lose weight and win my battle against obesity. I knew this negative mental weight was heavy and would be one of my biggest obstacles. Emotional pounds can have a devastating effect on your confidence, self-esteem, and happiness.

                              Is this you, too?

            What are your emotional pounds?

We all struggle with emotional pounds. One of your first steps is to understand your own. More specifically, look inside yourself and start to identify what or who is causing your emotional pounds and why you are allowing this to happen. What adversity are you dealing with? What emotions are preventing you from moving forward and living your most whole life? What situations cause your emotions to rise and derail your plan repeatedly?

This identification is not easy, and frankly, it can be very difficult and quite painful, but it is necessary. It does not matter how good your plan is, how motivated you are, or how educated you are on nutrition and exercise; if you feel like a big disappointment or a failure every time you look in the mirror, you will eventually lose the will to fight and quit your lifestyle change journey.

                    So, how do you start to lose

                       your emotional pounds?

It is essential to set your expectations at the start, meaning it is helpful to know that you will always have some emotional pounds to deal with, because, unfortunately, there will always be some level of adversity in your life. However, as you get mentally stronger and implement your countermeasures (more on this below), you will learn not to let life’s obstacles become emotional pounds that you cannot control; when you gain them, you will know how to lose them or stop them from leading you to a downward spiral.

Another thing to remember is that emotions are a natural part of life; they are an incredible force that makes you who you are. They can make you feel like you are on top of the world, keeping you fighting when all you want to do is quit. But they can also make you feel frustrated and angry and engage in serious self-hate. Emotions have a wide range; thus, controlling how you respond to them when they occur is vital so they do not control you and lead you to make self-destructive decisions.

Let’s dive deeper into controlling and losing your emotional pounds. How?

I suggest two approaches. The first approach is to lose your emotional pounds by addressing their underlying causes, which is ultimately the best approach. However, this will take time (more on this later).                                              

The second approach is to have strategies in place that activate when negative emotions rise up and threaten to derail your plans. These are your Countermeasures.  When battling obesity, you cannot control when and how intensely emotions come alive inside of you, especially the destructive ones like anger, severe disappointment, and frustration. However, the good news is that you are 100 percent in control of how you respond to them. Creating strong response strategies or countermeasures is essential.

              One powerful countermeasure is the

                        DISTRACT STRATEGY.

More specifically, you must have positive distractions when emotional pain strikes. The distractions help you when you cannot control those emotions that consume you, and may lead to you making bad decisions. By distracting yourself when negative emotions strike, you can function effectively and not engage in a downward spiral of behavior.

For instance, think about a romantic relationship that ended badly and how your heart still aches for that person; we all know heartache can go on for a long time. A song, a movie scene, a deep conversation, or an old photo can fill your heart with incredible sadness and loneliness. These emotions can overwhelm you and cause you to make bad decisions, like overeating unhealthy foods to deal with the pain. This will lead to obesity and a new set of potential health issues, negative emotions, and self-esteem problems.

So, prevent this by creating good distractions when you are under attack from unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Your distractions could be going for a long drive, walking with a friend, working out, giving your dog a bath, dancing to your favorite music, or watching your favorite TV program. Whatever the distraction is, keep doing it until your mind is in a good place—or at least in a place that prevents you from moving backward. Sometimes, this distraction strategy will work great. Other times, it may work just okay, and honestly, sometimes it will not work at all when the emotional pain is too intense for any distraction to displace it. However, like anything else, the more you work at it, the easier and more effective it becomes.

Keep in mind that using positive distractions does not address the underlying problem—it just allows you to get through the bad moments and prevents you from making bad decisions and creating bad habits. The distractions do not mean you do not think about the emotional pain; you most certainly will, but they will serve as something else to think about and an alternative activity to engage in.  If the distractions prevent you from making unhealthy decisions, such as overeating when the pain hits, then the strategy is working.

Although creating distractions is a short-term solution, it remains a powerful way to manage your emotional pounds. Sometimes people will advise you to deal with your emotional pain by telling you to “Move on,” “Just forget about it,” or “Stop thinking about it.” This type of advice is impossible to follow. Why? Because intense emotional pain cannot simply be turned off like a light. That certainly would be nice, but it is not realistic. It takes time to deal with the pain in the short and long term.

As mentioned earlier, the other approach, and the most effective way to lose your emotional weight, is to address the underlying causes directly. Now, there is no beating around the bush here—this is tough. The underlying causes of your emotional pounds can be painful to confront and hard to overcome. However, it can be done—you just need to take the first step before you can reach the one-hundredth step.

You should not work on your underlying causes alone. I strongly encourage you to establish a support system that includes family, friends, and professional help. Do whatever you have to do and whatever works best for you so you can move forward. It is essential to focus on this because permanently losing some emotional pounds will not only help you live a happier and more fulfilling life but also put you in a much better position to overcome obesity once and for all.

Listed below are some upcoming blogs in the You Can Beat Obesity Blog that you might find helpful when you are trying to lose your emotional pounds:

                                          No More Self-Body-Shaming: It Is Time to Celebrate Yourself

                                          The Scale IS NOT an Indictment on Your Life  

                                          Discover the Incredible Power of Your Voice

                                          Don’t Travel Down Any Tough Road Alone

Take Control of Your Environment: Build Your Home Environment for Success.

Understanding and addressing your emotional pounds is no easy task. It can be one of the most difficult challenges you face in life, BUT YOU CAN DO IT!  

Take your time, don’t be too hard on yourself, dust yourself off when you fall, get help when needed, and keep moving forward!